Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
