I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
