Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
