ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
