Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
