I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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