Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she woke up with a sticky ear
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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