If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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