where am i from again
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize