i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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