so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
