i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
