do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize