kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
