I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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