i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
