wat bout pragnant strippers??
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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