wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
40s are totally the cure
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
