dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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