ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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