i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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