did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
