I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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