I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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