his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
