I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
