Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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