Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
