i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
