You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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