I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
