What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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