Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize