I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
