I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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