just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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