when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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