Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize