I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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