i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Will exercising make me less horny?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
