I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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