I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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