WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My life is pants optional.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
