just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
