Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can't put those talents on a resume
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
