Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize