If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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