is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
