Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
