I'm really into asian looking animals
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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