HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
