am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
