i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
