The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
