Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
it's great music for shaving your balls
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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