Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize