What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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