We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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