Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
