Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
