Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
