And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
