I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
