Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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