The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just found a bag of teeth...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
