Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
