so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
