there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
