There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
