what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize