I want to stick my p in your. b.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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