You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
