I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
