the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
