And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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