The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
