YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
